The truth is, most married women stay in an abusive marriage and relationship because of their children.. If you ask 60% of domestically abused women why they stayed in their relationship for long, the answer will be, ” i didn’t want to leave because of my children”.
The question is, is that enough reason to continue staying in an abusive environment? Do you know the effect of continuous staying in that environment on those children? I guess the answer is no. Today, I would try my best to enlighten us on the “The effect of domestic violence on children”.
My first question is – Based on logistics, do we know how many children witness the abuse on their mothers?. Withness can mean seeing the actual incident of physical / and or sexual abuse. It can also mean hearing threats or fighting noises from another room, children may also observe the aftermath of physical abuse such as blood, bruises, tears, torn clothing and broken items. Children maybe aware of the tension in the home such as their mother’s fearefulness when the abuser’s car pulls into the drive way. In most cases, after observing this things happening in their respective homes, they start believing they are the reason why their parents fight or why their dad always abuse their mum.
They constantly live a life of “self blame” which is not good for them… There will always be a lot of un answered questions on their minds.
What are the feeling of children who are exposed to battering?
– they become fearful and anxious. They are always on guard, waiting and watching for the next event to occur. They never know what will trigger the abuse so they are never safe.
-Children of abuse feel isolated and vulnerable. They are starved for attention, affection and approval.
Research has shown that there are short term effect of abuse on children. Example of such effects are : bedwetting, acting out, withdrawals, poor school performance, developmental delays in speech, head aches, stomach achus etc.
Examples of some of the long term effects of domestic violence on children are:
–they suffer emotional and psychological trauma from living in homes where their father abuses their mother.. In most cases, this type of trauma creates a void in their lives. There will always be a of getting into a relationship or commitment.
– They might end up growing up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way.
-Because children have a natural tendency to identify with strength, the may ally themselves with the abuser’s and lose respect for their seemingly helpless mother.
There are a lot of effects of domestic violence on children. I just mentioned a few. “Women, let’s always think about the future of our children. It’s never to late to say #NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE #.
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