“Unintended pregnancies” are pregnancies that are mistimed, unplanned or unwanted at the time of conception. Unintended pregnancies may also result from rape, incest, your relationship, one night stand, first experience, forced or unwanted sex.
I saw a painting by my friend Jake Solo, it inspired me to write a little on unplanned pregnancy.
It got me thinking. When can a pregnancy be deemed unplanned? What is the right thing to do in that situation?
I remember when a close friend of mine got pregnant back then in our final year at the University. She refused to tell me maybe to her, she felt I would judge her, or maybe she was just too scared.
This one you are not coming for classes and constantly sleeping like a pregnant woman I said to her without knowing she was. Few days later, she finally opened up to me. ” am pregnant she said, I just found out and it’s 2months gone. Have you told anyone in your family I asked? My dad will kill me, my mum will be disappointed, my sisters, we aren’t that close.
I told my cousin who is a guy, he asked me to flush it that it’s not yet a baby and it’s the only way I wouldn’t bring shame to the family she said. My friends already took me to where I bought some herbal drink. You better not try it I told her, I talked to her, gave her an advice, told her how she will never forgive herself later on. I called my mum explained everything to her and she spoke to Andrea, assured her that we would be with her all the way. The long and short to my story is, speaking to the right people when you have such a situation is best and helpful in making a decision. Today Andrea has a baby boy who she adores and her family has finally come to terms with it. What she did was wrong but the did was already done, so the next thing is how to leave through the situation.
There are Psychological and emotional side effects.
When most people face this type of situation, they start to wonder what people would say, how their families would react, how it would affect their lives etc. This thought most times leads to their decision on committing an abortion.
Some women might have a hard time in weighing down their options on what to do with the intended pregnancy. They’ll have to worry about the difficult and painful experience of abortion if they would choose that, and some people would be giving the woman their judging stares because of such decision. It’s a tough decision not only for her but even for others close to her.
On the other side, women undergoing unplanned pregnancies may also experience emotional distress. They are more prone to experiencing anger, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, and uncertainty especially in regards to their decision for the matter. Isn’t going to be easy, but try to express yourself to people that you trust and respect. People you know would give you better suggestions.
THINGS TO CONSIDER.
CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE – an unplanned pregnancy may not have been in the cards for you right now, but remember that you remain your own life manager. You now have the opportunity to make the most of not just yours but now another’s life. Femi St author Sylvia Ann Hewlitt writes, “You can’t have” all” if anything. Some aspect of your life will be compromised in at least some small way while you are focusing on another aspect of life.
DEVELOPE A SUPPORT SYSTEM – ” A problem shared is a problem halved” says the old adage. As personal about extras your pregnancy is, it is vital that you have a network of people and places to draw strength and advice from.
If you have a partner, make the effort to include him in everything possible. Discuss your feelings with one another your expectations, and your needs. If you don’t have a partner, then find one – your mom, a sister or Close friend – look for someone that you trust and feel comfortable with.
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, avoid pressure. Don’t listen to what other people would say. Your choice is all that matters – you are the one who would be living with that choice, anyway.
Pregnancy is not the end of your life, it’s the miraculous beginning of another. “it’s true, change forces us out of our comfort zone, stretches us in ways that might hurt for a little while”, says Roberta Rand in her book Focus on family, But the rewards can be astounding.
This post is to tell us that unplanned pregnancy is not the end of life, look beyond your situation and find a solution. My next question is Does having an unplanned pregnancy mean you need to get married to the Father of the child? Why do people think so.. Please read, share and tell us your opinion on unplanned pregnancy and marriage.
This post was written based on research, some points were gotten from the write up by Lisa Cooper and Alison chief blogger of baby jogger. Co