It’s another Saturday. A day for weddings. A day to celebrate love, a day to celebrate the beginning of a great union. I remember having this topic in mind without really knowing what to write. I need a painting that depicts this topic I said to Jake Solo. Can you please help me? I asked because I knew what his capable of doing. He sent me the first and it was ok. But when he sent me this particular one, I fell in love with it. Not just because it was beautiful and different, but because you can understand the topic just from the picture….. Thanks again Jake for this.
So, I know I talk about marriage a lot for a single lady like me. Maybe because I do want to get married and real soon. Marriage is something every mature lady wants. Well not just matured. Let’s just say most ladies want. To an extent, I think our mothers want it more than we do.
About the topic, it came to my mind when I was thinking to what extent can a lady go just to get married..
A friend was lamenting on how marriage is beginning to sound like an anthem in her house. I have a boyfriend she said and I love him. Well for now, his really not ready and I don’t want to marry without love if not, I could have married one of the other men asking for my hand in marriage. I tried telling him that we can get married while we sought ourselves financially. Maybe you should give him time I advised. I jokingly told him I literally would drug and take him to the alter if it’s possible she said. Well I laughed over it as I tried to picture how possible that would….
I have heard and seen different things women do just to answer a married woman. Someone I know, met a man that lives “abroad” on Facebook and before you say Jack, he came back and married her. She hasn’t seen her husband for years although they talk on phone and he sends her money… Is that one part of being married? To me, she’s single with a ring.
Another story is about a matured psychologist who was having sex with her patient knowing full well he was in a relationship, intentionally got pregnant and rushed to tell his family so that he would be pressured into marrying her. She knows the man in question doesn’t love her. She knew it was just sex but she took the risk. Did they get married? Yes. But today they are divorced.
For those in the western world who can do anything I mean anything for love. Not that we in Africa don’t love, but it’s just that we have a limit to that. Am sure we have heard and watched movies where someone’s dying wish can be that you marry him or her before him/her dies and they do. Yes like I said, Western world…. It might happen but not here. So if that’s your plan to drag him to the alter, then it’s not going to work… You have to have a good plan.
For some people, it works out fine. But for the unlucky ones, hmm!. I don’t know how many of us are familiar with December marriage. If you haven’t, let me explain a little. So you know when is the month of December, most of the big guys leaving abroad, come back with their big cars, money and probably must’ve had a magnificent structure in the village. Upon their return, it becomes a period of wedding and weddings. Be it planned or unplanned. For most ladies this is their period of getting married. Whether you are in a relationship with another or not.
My question is to what extent can you go just to drag him to the alter. For me, I really can’t tell. God knows I will never go diabolical on him. Neither will I get pregnant just to tie him down. I know I would try to wait. I would pray for patience. But when it begins to look like the wait is taking forever, I would give you the talk and say good bye. This leads to another question. When exactly do you know it’s time to stop waiting? This is an open class and I would appreciate it if you answer this question.
I have another question. So you know how you have been giving him different signals about getting married and his asking you to give him more time or pretending not to be getting them, how do you realize you are beginning to nag him about the subject?
If I was crazy, I would probably act like my friend suggested and drag him up to the alter… What would you do if you had a crazy side and was tired of waiting…….
Don’t spoil the fun.. Let’s talk about the craziest things we think we can do just to get to that alter.
It’s all about you…. Never forget that.