Today’s post is on long distance relationship and how best to maintain them.. A lot of us prefer being in a relationship were we don’t find it difficult to see each other and distance isn’t really an issues.
I know sometimes, we have this believe that long distance relationships are never going to work. Most of our friends and family discourage us from it. I know it’s not an easy one. No body says it’s ever going to be easy. There are going to be times when things will get complicated, you could get sad and lonely at times.
The same way we see more of the disadvantages of long distance relationship, I would gladly tell us that there are more advantages to being in a long distance relationship. This type of relationship makes the simplest things the sweetest… Simple things like eating together at the same table, taking a walk together and feeling each other’s touch…
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I noticed that most of us (especially our parents) take a lot of things in our (their) relationship for granted… Couples don’t do the simplest things like eat together at the same time, send simple messages to each other. In fact simple little exciting things.. Am not just talking about young couples, or your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance /fiancee, am also talking about married couples… I constantly say this that “marriage can be exciting”…. Yes go ahead and say what does she know? She’s not married. Yes! I might not know a lot but I have seen and read about married people who do these things I picture and teach.. I feel it’s long distance like this, that makes you grateful for your partner when ever you finally have to be with them. You become supper excited and anxious… It’s like you just fell in love for the first time. Permit me to say, but most times I feel distance sometimes makes the relationship stronger.
It’s really not going to be easy. Especially if the distance is somewhere you really need to plan well before embarking on just to see your partner.. We are constantly boreded about our partners fidelity, about the love dying, about the different temptation that we have to go through just to be loyal… For most people, time difference is also a bigger challenge for them.
Below are a list of different things to do to keep your long distance relationship going and exciting (how best to maintain a long distance relationship).
- Try to communicate regularly and creatively: Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
- Talk dirty with each other. Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sexual desire is like a glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Not only is sex a biological need, it is an emotional one as well. Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
- Avoid “dangerous” situations. Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with your office eye-candy after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation. Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.
- Do similar things. Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.
- Make visits to each other: Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfill all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships. It will be like fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.
- Stay honest with each other: Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
- Video-call whenever possible. Because looking into each other eyes and hearing each others voices can make everything feel alright again.
- Stay positive. You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonesome but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each others health and safety.
- Know each others schedules. It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each others life e.g. college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.
- Have a goal in mind. “What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down.
- So make a plan with each other: Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
In actual sense, it’s important you note that having a long distance relationship isn’t something you expect your partner to automatically be OK with especially if you both didn’t get into the relationship on that ground. Therefore, I advice that you call your partner, explain everything in detail and make sure he/she understands and that you both are on the same page.
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart ” Anonymous.
What’s your opinion on being in a long distance relationship? Is it something you are currently in, or is it something you don’t think you can handle and why? If you are currently in this relationship, let’s hear how it’s been working out for you and your advice for others who might be thinking of embarking on it…..
It’s always about you…… Never forget that.
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